Gobble Gobble not Ching Ching.

I’m just going to say it.  If you shop on Thanksgiving you suck.  I’m not talking about the Friday after, I know Black Friday is never not going to be a thing.  I’m talking about shopping on the actual holiday.   You know why retail stores won’t close and let it’s workers have a day off with their families?  Because you assholes are willing to shop on the holiday.  Next it will be Christmas, it’s only a matter of time.  These greedy ass corporations, like Target, can’t afford to close their doors for two days a fucking year?  All we’re asking for here is Thanksgiving and Christmas, we already lost Easter a long time ago.  I know the four arguments people will throw at me so here goes nothing.

“Everyone I know loves working the holiday, they get overtime and fight for the shifts.”  Well, personally, I have never met one of these people.  In my experience, everyone I know who has to work on the holiday is pissed.  And no one gets a choice either.  It’s a blacked out day where you can’t request off, even if it was supposed to be one of your regularly scheduled days off that week.  Also, just because you’re working the holiday does not mean you actually get overtime at some companies.  If they schedule you two days off that week they can just pay you your regular hourly rate.  And if you’re salaried, forget it, it’s not even an option.

“The sales are just too good to boycott it.”  Ok, so this one is geared more towards the corporations themselves.  You guys can’t just have the sales on Friday, Saturday and Sunday?  You have to make it a point to conceptualize sales specifically for the day of the holiday to justify opening your doors?  Again, you can’t close for TWO FUCKING DAYS A YEAR?!  I’ll bet those CEO’s aren’t giving up their time to work in one of their stores that day.  But yeah, they probably need another vacation home or yacht so whatever.

“Not everyone celebrates holidays.”  True.  But for the extremely large number of people that do, the rest of those assholes wouldn’t mind not going shopping that day? My sister-in-law used to work until 6am Thanksgiving morning only to have to be back by 5pm that evening.  She’s a single mom and instead of spending any quality time with her daughter she has to sleep all day until her next shift starts.  That kid has no Thanksgiving memories with her own mom from the ages of 2 to 8.

“If you don’t want to work on holidays, don’t work retail.”  This is the asshattiest argument of them all.  If this is your response, you’re just a douche.  As most of you know, getting a job isn’t the easiest thing on the planet and one of the most forgiving hiring processes is retail.  I worked in retail for 15+ years and during that time I even worked with a ton of people who had college degrees and were paying off mega student loans because they couldn’t find work elsewhere.  Plus, once you’re in retail it’s really hard to escape.  Like I said, I worked retail for over 15 years and when I wanted out (after having worked my way up and gained experience in HR and as a manager) I couldn’t find any regular 9-5, weekends off, holidays off and paid job that wanted to give me a shot because, to those employers, all of my experience was retail so, according to them, I wouldn’t smoothly transition into an office environment.  It’s not as easy as you think, cupcake.  But enjoy your privilege up on that high horse.

If you are interested in joining the boycott of shopping on Thanksgiving (there’s an actual movement, merchandise, Facebook page) you have to remember something else.  You cannot even internet shop.  I know you just gasped.  I’m an avid internet shopper myself, I haven’t gone out and purchased gifts in person for, at least, five years now.  But what you’re not thinking about, and I’m going to use Target as an example again, is that they now require employees to be on staff all day long, even if the store itself isn’t open, just to be able to keep up on and fulfill internet orders.  Again, it’s one day, people.  You can’t not shop for ONE day?

Last but not least, please be kind to retail employees when you’re shopping on Black Friday (or on the holiday if you insist on being a dick).  It’s usually crazy busy, super exhausting and for whatever reason, it brings out THE WORST in customers.  If you can’t manage to give up shopping for a day can you, at least, manage not to be a total schmuck?

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